There are many people who believe that trust, once broken, can take a long time to rebuild, if it can even be done. However, there are some specific things you can do to rebuild trust beginning in just days after wronging your mate in a relationship.
The first step is to flat out accept blame. You don't give lame excuses, you don't argue or defend or explain that it didn't really mean anything. You admit, for example, that you messed up and in this way: I cheated on you. This is crucial.When we've been wronged by our lover, one of the things we want to understand is that our mate knows they did wrong. Do they understand they hurt us or do they somehow think what they did is not that big of a problem? This first step handles this for your mate, it clarifies that you aren't going to b.s. them and will take responsibility.
This is a remarkable way to start restoring trust! Instead of the usual defending and excuses when there is a problem in the relationship, we own up to what we did. This is a powerful way to begin rebuilding trust, if you are sincere.
Step Two follows right on top of this. You then need to acknowledge that you caused your mate pain, and here is the pain caused.
Look, your ex is hurting! They may be furious with you, or they may feel sad and broken hearted. They are in emotional pain. So you fess up to that to, since you caused all the pain they're feeling. Hey, not only did I cheat on you, but I caused you pain. I hurt you deeply, I made you feel worthless, like I didn't appreciate and respect you. I know I broke your heart.
Amazing! This too is different from what your mate expects to hear. Instead of excuses, you really seem to understand the damage you caused. You've not only taken the blame, you have owned up to the pain you caused.
You've got to describe the pain some, using the best words you can. This is exactly what Emotional Logic sounds like. At this point, you want to make sure your ex feels like you understand him/her. You cant skip this step, even if you are a man and, like many men, aren't comfortable talking about emotions. For the skill to work, your ex has to feel like you really understand the pain you caused by what you did.
Most apologies don't work because they miss these two steps. Accept blame for what you did and let your mate know you understand the emotional pain you caused. When you do this, your apology is much more effective towards rebuilding trust. There are more steps to it, but these first two can take you a long way.Action Steps: Write out how you would say these first two steps. Just one sentence or two for each, in your own words. That way, when you do start to rebuild trust with your ex, it will sound more natural.
Using this skill along with a few others can make a big difference when it comes to getting your ex back. You can often get them back in hours or days instead of waiting months and hoping they get over it! If you would like to get your ex back without weeks of work you can check out the complete method here at Get Your Love Back Now. When you know the right steps to take, you can often have a solid chance of making up with your ex within 24 hours.
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